Why a Compliment Isn’t a Public Endorsement

Asking for testimonials can be one of the most awkward, uncomfortable things for people, especially solo entrepreneurs, to do. It’s especially challenging for women, who often have a hard time promoting ourselves. So many times, we tend to wait for people to offer to recommend us, which in most cases, never happens.

Other times, we take an easier approach: we mine our social media feeds or email for instances where happy clients have told us we’re great and splash those comments where the rest of the world can see we’re great: front and center on our website, social media profiles, or print marketing materials. It’s the easiest, most fail-proof way to garner social proof.

It’s also unethical.

The only time it is appropriate to display a compliment about your work in your marketing materials (website, Twitter feed, Facebook business page, etc.) is if you have the consent—preferably written—of the person who gave you the compliment. That’s it. Otherwise, you’re saying this person publicly endorses you when the truth very well may be that they don’t.

But isn’t a compliment a public endorsement?

Nope. When someone compliments you, they’re simply acknowledging (in this case) your talent or skill in a certain area. That’s hugely different from a public endorsement, which says, Hey, I’ve tried it. It worked for me. I stand behind those results and don’t mind putting my name and reputation on the line to defend it.

It’s the difference between a person agreeing to date you and being willing to confess their undying, sho’nuf til death-do-us-part loyalty in a church before 500 of your closest friends. They might think you’re a great catch, but they’re not digging you like that. Yet.

Here’s the easy, legit way to get yourself recommended and publicly endorsed

“Hi Sam. We’ve worked on a few projects together and we really click. Would you mind doing a quick write-up of your experience working with me (my ability to meet deadlines, easy-going personality, ability to quickly grasp concepts) that I can display on my LinkedIn profile (or new website, or Facebook business page, or whatever)? Thanks for your help. Let me know if you have questions.

Once that person says, “Sure, no problem. Here you go,” you’re clear. Splash that public endorsement all over the place you said you would. Until then, accept the compliment for what it was—confirmation that yes, you’ve got skillz—and move on.

Governor Perry, Please Exit Stage Left

I cannot watch Texas Governor and Republican presidential contender Rick Perry debate anymore. His temporary memory losses and gaffes might have been funny in the beginning, but now, watching him is not just painful; it’s uncomfortable and embarrassing. Last night during the debate, Perry said that if elected president, he would cut three federal agencies. [...]

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Toot Your Own Horn, or Get Comfortable Staying Stuck

As a twenty-something trying to feel my way through the muck of corporate America, I didn’t see the need to promote myself. Newly armed with a degree from an expensive, prestigious school, and gifted in the areas of writing and speaking, I thought the people writing my yearly performance reviews would just “get” that I [...]

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The Lost Art of Being Direct

It seems in the world of business, there are two camps of people: those who push their goods and services down your throat, oblivious to whether you actually need or want them, and those who sheepishly suggest that you might potentially, possibly, someday find value in their goods and services, if only you would eventually [...]

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Why I Will Likely Opt Out of Your Webinar

Because even though it promises to be all about me, it’s probably going to be all about you. At least, that’s what I’ve experienced in the dozens of webinars I’ve registered for, dialed in to, and jumped out of over the past few months. We both know why I signed up for your webinar in [...]

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Social Media Outreach: Ever Been Dissed?

A few weeks ago, I wrote about connecting via social media. I explained that in order to establish online relationships that can translate into productive or mutually beneficial relationships offline, you have to be willing to show who you really are and stand up for what you believe. I know this works, because not only [...]

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Social Media Engagement: How I Landed on the Talkmaster’s Radar

If you spend any time at all on social media, you’ve probably heard the word “connect” thrown around a lot. Don’t just post updates, experts advise, but connect with people in your social networks. Perhaps the better word to use is engage or interact, both of which are very different from connect. To connect implies [...]

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What Do You Say to Yourself About Yourself?

If you spend any time at all online, you will notice in any given day, no fewer than a trillion articles that have titles along the lines of: 5 Ways to Conquer Fear 3 Things You Can  Do Right Now to Feel More Confident 10 Ways to Live Boldly and With Purpose Okay, so maybe [...]

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Confidence v. Arrogance: Which Do You Convey?

When it comes to how people talk about themselves and their gifts, talents, or accomplishments, I find that most fall into one of two camps: 1) they don’t, because they feel like they’re showing off or bragging if they acknowledge their excellence in any area, or 2) they shout it from the rooftops and all [...]

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Keeping Your Cool When You Really Want to ‘Go There’

Sometimes, people just make you want to go there. Yeah, they do. Maybe it’s a nightmare boss who seems hell-bent on setting you up to fail by giving you more work than any human can handle. Maybe it’s that nagging co-worker, the one who, it appears, had her lunch money stolen every day from sixth [...]

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